Death is a word that sounds negative, horrifying, pessimistic, depressing etc. In the Chinese culture it is taboo to talk about death.
However after reading “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” and Buddhist teaching that I learned since I was young, I felt that it wasn’t all that bad to discuss death as it brings wisdoms whist we are still alive and we will live a happier life.
As I mentioned many times in my previous blog posts, we are emotional beings and are easily affected by the conditions around us. We are very “self-centred”, because when someone or something upsets “ME”, I feel sad, angry and miserable about it.
This is because we have a strong obsession with “ME”. We wish to protect or safeguard “ME”, and that’s why we feel hurt. Imagine, if something happens to a stranger, would you get hurt? You won’t feel that hurt because it isn’t “MINE”.
But, if someone/something hurt “ME”, “MY” family or “MY” belonging, we would be emotionally affected by it, because those belong to “US”.
To meditate on “self de-centralising”, they are two ways of looking at it, the first way is the hard way and second is soft way.
The hard way this is to meditate on DEATH, that is to think that all our belongings including ourselves will evaporate from this world one day, which means we will all die, and all our belongings will be back to earth again, i.e. body and belongings will become rotten and evaporate into mother earth. They came from earth and they are not going back to mother earth. This is the cycle of life.
Under this circumstances, there is no more “ME”, our body and belongings are only part of earth. Where is the “ME”? and why should we so obsess of “ME” and “MINE”, since this will be only be part of mother nature one day?
Perhaps I should demonstrate this with an example. I’ve worked really hard throughout my life to achieve what I am now, and have a reasonable comfortable career and life.
I have a good job, nice house and I am driving a brand new company car BMW. Sometimes, I am fear of losing what I have achieved, because I am obsessed about it and it will hurt me if I lost them because I worked really hard for it. Sometime, I am driving my BMW and thinking…. If I lost all these luxury, would I get hurt? Yes, I would, no doubt about it.
However, on the other, I was also thinking that I will loss these anyway at some points…maybe when I retire or when I die, and I can’t bring all these wealth with me, all these will have to stay and why am I upset about thing that will not belong to me one day.
This thought changed the way I thought about my life, I thought I should just concentrate on enjoying the process of life and appreciate what we have at the moment, and be a happy person. As life is too short, and we should enjoy the fullness of it, why worry so much?
The soft way of “self de-centralising” is to meditate on COMPASSION, this is to extend the loving of “ME” and “MINE” to others. Learning to love others is not easy because they are not related to “US”. However, learning to love other could broaden the horizon of mind wisdom. This is also related to practising of “LET GO” and “GIVE”.
A person who is compassionate and generous will find it easy to “LET GO”, “GIVE” and love others and he/she would be a happier person.
For example a child who knows how to give will be happier than another child who just wants to keep thing for him/herself.
The former won’t get upset if something has been taken away from her, because she is happy to give and let go, whilst the later will be crying and screaming when things were taken away from him/her. This is also applies to an adult, if one doesn’t know how to “LET GO” and “GIVE”, they will find his/her life more miserable because he/she is living in a worrying world, worrying about losing HERS/HIS.
I am giving another example of “LET GO” and “GIVE”, which made me a happier person. I came from a not well off family, my mum has brought up six of us and my dad died early. It was very tough for her to bring us up on her own.
During my high school, I didn’t have much money, I have a tight budget and had to spend it carefully. One day, I went to a food stall, getting my dinner as usual (I was staying way from home since I was 12). I hadn’t been eating well for a while and decided to get something nice to eat. I didn’t know about the price until I paid for it, and it costs 3 times over my budget.
I felt so bad about it because I’ve spent too much of my mum’s hard earned money that I couldn’t sleep at night. However, I was meditating on “LET GO” and “GIVE”, I thought of how much of my money will be able to help the stall holder. He would have been spending his hard earned money on his family and children’s education. It wasn’t easy to be a trader with a low income.
After meditating on “LET GO” and “GIVE”, I felt so much better, because, it is not all about “ME”, it is also about caring for others.
After understanding the wisdom behind Death, knowing the wisdom of loving others, I am sure we will be happier people.
My friend Randy Smith has shared this with me..
“And that is what I think is the biggest upset .... to know so many people move on without having 'lived' their lives....
Or as a poet once said - "They died with their song still inside them"
That to me seems the greatest shame of all time.... we have but one life to live, we should live it to it's fullest, love every minute of it, find passion for it - and pass the passion on to others!”
Monday, 10 March 2008
Sunday, 2 March 2008
Do You HATE your Job?
How many people do not like their job? [J.O.B. =Just Over Broke ;)]
I was in this position myself so I know how you all feel. There are always good and bad sides to our jobs which made us like or hate them.
However, it is important to stay positive. I remember when I did my doctorate, I started out full of motivation and ambition, however, it took me 5 years (I was doing it part-time) to complete my thesis. Throughout the process, I have gone through different stage of emotional stages, i.e. motivated, confusion, depression, hating, loving, joy, satisfaction and happiness.
At one point, I started to hate my thesis, but the more I hate it, the more I couldn’t do it and lost my concentration. My friend who has completed his doctorate degree encouraged me to “love” my thesis, because, that is the only way to complete my doctorate sooner.
I listened to his advice and started to learn to “love” my thesis. “LOVE” meaning thinking about the achievement and good result and positive outcome of the whole 5 years’ hard-works, graduation, good career and better life – meditating on positive life (meditation is about mind training toward strong positive mind).
Surprisingly, I progressed tremendously and it only took me another 5 months to complete my thesis and my concentration improved because I love my thesis. I felt so much achievement and satisfaction with the whole process.
Imagine, how powerful our mind is, without the change of my mindset, i.e. loving my thesis, I could have taken another 2 years to complete my doctorate which would be a real torture.
Our life is just like writing a doctorate thesis, we started with a good motivation and ambition, but when we encountered obstacles, we become depressed, hatred and sad, with the positive mind turning around, we experienced the opposite which are joy, satisfaction and happiness.
A wise person will take the experience as a lesson because unless we experience the depression and sadness, we won’t realize how good the joy and happiness are.
As I mentioned in my Story of Law of Attraction, it was tough being in a company politic, however, I tried to change my personal view and practice metta meditation, please have a go with the metta meditation that I recommended, you will see the result.
But again, no doubt, you need to be consistent and persistent with your practice. I hope my explanation will help every one who 'Hates' their job!
Winston Churchill quoted, on writing a book - which applies equally to writing a thesis ...
"Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public."
I was in this position myself so I know how you all feel. There are always good and bad sides to our jobs which made us like or hate them.
However, it is important to stay positive. I remember when I did my doctorate, I started out full of motivation and ambition, however, it took me 5 years (I was doing it part-time) to complete my thesis. Throughout the process, I have gone through different stage of emotional stages, i.e. motivated, confusion, depression, hating, loving, joy, satisfaction and happiness.
At one point, I started to hate my thesis, but the more I hate it, the more I couldn’t do it and lost my concentration. My friend who has completed his doctorate degree encouraged me to “love” my thesis, because, that is the only way to complete my doctorate sooner.
I listened to his advice and started to learn to “love” my thesis. “LOVE” meaning thinking about the achievement and good result and positive outcome of the whole 5 years’ hard-works, graduation, good career and better life – meditating on positive life (meditation is about mind training toward strong positive mind).
Surprisingly, I progressed tremendously and it only took me another 5 months to complete my thesis and my concentration improved because I love my thesis. I felt so much achievement and satisfaction with the whole process.
Imagine, how powerful our mind is, without the change of my mindset, i.e. loving my thesis, I could have taken another 2 years to complete my doctorate which would be a real torture.
Our life is just like writing a doctorate thesis, we started with a good motivation and ambition, but when we encountered obstacles, we become depressed, hatred and sad, with the positive mind turning around, we experienced the opposite which are joy, satisfaction and happiness.
A wise person will take the experience as a lesson because unless we experience the depression and sadness, we won’t realize how good the joy and happiness are.
As I mentioned in my Story of Law of Attraction, it was tough being in a company politic, however, I tried to change my personal view and practice metta meditation, please have a go with the metta meditation that I recommended, you will see the result.
But again, no doubt, you need to be consistent and persistent with your practice. I hope my explanation will help every one who 'Hates' their job!
Winston Churchill quoted, on writing a book - which applies equally to writing a thesis ...
"Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public."
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